OUAT Poor Unfortunate Souls

The little boy stumbled along the beach as he ran to the secluded cove.  He had come there many times before with his father and sister, but this was the first time he'd had to come here before dawn.  Pearl had told him it was to see the sunrise, but he was old enough not to fall for her stupid games anymore; if they were truly just going to watch the sunrise, why would he be leading a mermaid to their secret place?

Djem panted as he pulled up the water gate that would allow the princess entrance to the lagoon.  He threw a handful of gold dust into the air, signaling to his sister that their father's latest victim was on her way.

Djem:  *loud, but nervously* Oh, Master of Impossible Things, someone's come to see you.
Mermaid:  *from below him*  Little boy, I'm not so sure about this.
Pearl:  *from her boat, which she's rowed out to greet them in*  Now now, dearie.  Don't be such a guppy.

Djem rolled his eyes and bit his lip to hide the imminent tears and sobs that would escape them once his sister had led Princess Emerald to shore.  As Pearl, the dark haired beauty with golden eyes, led the princess, who was her duplicate except for her emerald green eyes (and the tail of course), to where their father sat on the shore, Djem made his way back across the jetty on his side of the lagoon and came in the same direction at such a pace where he was right beside his father right when the boat beached in the sand.  He set down his lantern so the most infamous deal maker in all Fairytale Land could be more visible to the ocean princess from his place near the quiet surf.

Rumpelstiltskin:  Don't be shy, Emerald darling.  It's only me, Rumpelstiltskin.
Emerald:  *looks around nervously*  You know my name?
Rump:  But of course.  You're the most eligible maiden in the sea, and above it... after your elder sister of course.  *notes her face contorting in hatred, as he knew it would; leans in to grasp her hand, and kisses it*  My regards to her on her happy marriage to the prince of her dreams.
Djem:  *tugs his father back*  She shouldn't be here, father.  This is our secret place!
Pearl:  *kicks her little brother*  Nonsense, Djem.  She's come to seek us out because she needs our help, and she couldn't very well meet us on land.  *gives him a look that says, "Shut up and I won't hurt you." as she sits down beside Rumpelstiltskin*
Emerald:  My father says that the Evil Queen banished your magic from the kingdom after she lost to Snow White and her prince.  Why?
Rump:  The kingdom wasn't big enough for two evil sorcerers?  And please.  I'm not as "black and white" as Helena is in her persuasions; my only loyalties lie in making sure people fulfill their desires and make sure to give me fitting payment.  I could ask you why you're coming to me in the first place, but I won't because I already know and I don't want to betray your counsel.

The young princess swished her tail anxiously, making little waves in the shallows.  Djem would've delighted in seeing her silver tail swishing in the moonlight if he hadn't known that she was nervous.  He also knew the reason why his father wouldn't ask:  his sister Pearl was much the same as she was.  A girl with insatiable thirst for something higher than herself and immense jealously for those who had achieved a happy ending with little or no sacrifice.  The boy wrung his hands through his dark gold hair in misery as his sister moved in to play her part.

Emerald:  My father still doesn't understand the greatest and happiest love matches for a mermaid can be found above the surface.
Pearl:  *with fake concern*  Oh, but I do, Princess.  I do.  We're so very alike, you and I.  You want a prince, and I want to be like my father.  We both aspire for more than what we are.  We are girls with ambition *punches the air for emphasis; breathes deeply before continuing* They don't like that, do they?
Rump:  *puts his arm around his daughter* Don't say that, dearie.  You know I love you.
Pearl:  *hugs him* Thanks Papa.
Rump:  Her father's precious Pearl.  *kisses her forehead as much as for confirmation of affection as to watch Emerald squirm with envy*  Sorry, your highness.  I shouldn't have gotten distracted.  Tell dear old Rumpelstiltskin about your troubles, dearie.
Djem:  You know as well as I do why she's here.  She's here because she's in love with a human, just like her sister.

Rumpelstiltskin sighed in agitation.  His son's inheriting his gift of prophecy came in handy when he was in need of a good hiding place or needed guidance as to how to get payment for a deal, when he didn't have the mental strength to do it himself of course.  However, and this he would never admit, Djem saw things with the conscience of someone who was still bound by the limits of right and wrong.  He saw things through empathetic eyes, saw things through the sufferer's point of view as well as the person causing the suffering, which was usually his father.  A gift like his, tempered with Djem's kind heart, would either win his only son great riches or get him thrown in prison, something he had seen happening to himself numerous times... but they hadn't caught him yet.

Rump:  *through gritted teeth, biting back annoyance* I would thank you not to interrupt me while I'm working, boy.
Emerald:  No.  He's right.  I'm in love with my sister's husband's best friend, who is also a good friend of Cinderella and Prince Thomas.  I would give anything, Mr. Rumpelstiltskin, ANYTHING to make sure no one marries him before me.  What can I do?
Rump:  Oh, my dear.  The solution to that problem is simple.  Like your sister, you've got to become human yourself.
Emerald:  *to Djem*  Can he really do that?
Djem:  The magic works best before sunrise, hence why I... why you had me lead her here.
Pearl:  *smirking evilly* Ding.  It turns out my little brother isn't such an idiot after all.

As his children moved further down the beach to settle their quarrel, Rumpelstiltskin stood up, his boots burrowing into the damp sand.  He had the princess right where he wanted her, just like he knew he would.  But for some reason, this was a particularly enjoyable thing, to have her hanging on his every word.  Was it just him, or was it some other strange force at work here that he couldn't place?

Rump:  My dear sweet child.  You know it's what I live for.  To help unfortunate merfolk, and people folk too.  Poor souls with no one else to turn to.
*singing*
I admit that in the past, I've been a nasty.
They weren't kidding when they called me, well-
Pearl:  *chiming in* a witch!
Rump:  But you'll find that nowadays,
I've mended all the ways,
*brings his hands together, as if in prayer* repented, seen the light, and made a switch.
*spoken* True?  Yes.
Pearl:  *singing as she sidles her way back to her father* And we fortunately know a little magic.
It's a talent that we always have possessed.
Rump:  *points to Pearl, with a "That's right." smile on his face* And hear lately, please don't laugh!  *holds his hand up*
I use it on behalf of the miserable the lonely and depressed.
Pearl: *over her shoulder to Djem* Pa-the-tic!
Rump:  Poor unfortunate souls!  In pain, in need.  *points to his children to illustrate his point*  This one longing to be thinner.  (Djem makes an imaginary belly with his arms.) That one wants to get the girl. (Pearl mock proposes to her brother.)  And I help them?
Pearl:  *turns to her father*  Yes indeed!   Those poor unfortunate souls.  So sad, so true.  They come flocking to his cauldron crying-
Djem:  *pained because his sister is pinching him*  Spells, Rumpel, please!
Both:  And you help them?
Rump:  Yes, I do!  *shrugs his shoulders in mock modesty*  Now, it's happened once or twice.  Someone couldn't pay the price, and I'm afraid I had to rake 'em cross the coals.
Pearl:  Yes, we've had the odd complaint.  (Both Rump and she put her hands up in mock prayer.)  But on the whole, he's been a saint.
Both:  To those poor unfortunate souls!

Djem slunk up the beach, planted his butt in the sand and plugged his ears.  He couldn't bear to hear this malevolent temptation anymore.  And even worse, he knew that Pearl would help their father put it in such a way that Emerald would say yes to whatever they said.  Tears leaked out his golden eyes as he silently watched the events unfold below him.

Rump:  *waves his hand in an "Aha!" gesture*  Here's my best offer, Emerald dearest.  *squats down so he can tell her more secretly* I know a spell that will turn you into a human for three days.  But...
Emerald:  *hanging on his every word*  But?
Pearl:  But, that deal would a have a procedural clause.  A "squid" pro quo if you will. *unrolls a contract scroll she had crafted for the occasion*
Rump:  *rolls his eyes and groans at the dumb joke*  Crude, but she is correct.  Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get your dear old Princey to kiss you.  (Pearl makes kissing noises and a funny face behind the contract.)  If you do, you'll stay human forever.
Emerald:  And if I don't?
Rump:  Nothing drastic, darling, I'm sure, but my admiration for wanting to know what you're getting into.
Pearl:  *examines the contract; exclaims with dramatic flourishes, punctuating every word* Oh look, small print!  *speaks louder for effect, and to make sure Djem hears, even though he can hear her perfectly well if she speaks normally*  Your soul is his forever, and you're doomed to spend eternity in our watery, hell-soaked lair!
Rump:  *stands up and claps his hands* Ha!  A regular lawyer she is.  *brings a hand to his forehead*  A girl after my own heart. *fake faints into his daughter's arms; shares an evil cackle with her*
Djem:  *shouts from his place on the beach*  You forget one last thing, father: your fee!
Emerald:  I'll give you anything you want.  Just give me my humanity!
Rump:  Not so loudly, dearie.  I won't ask for much, only... your voice.

Emerald considered.  Her own sister had given up her voice to get her prince and things had turned out all right.  Then again, she had almost brought the destruction of the sea by giving away her voice to their aunt, Ursula.  Then, she remembered something that Rumpelstiltskin himself had said once:  "Great power requires great sacrifice."  And she was more than willing to sacrifice in order to outdo her sister.

Emerald:  Fine.  But how do I know you'll keep my voice safe for when I fulfill my end of the deal?
Pearl:  I'm glad you asked.  *beckons to Djem*  My little brother has the perfect place for it.
(Djem comes over reluctantly, pulling out a gold chain from underneath his shirt.  On it hangs a single, white snail shell.)
Emerald:  *gasps as she recognizes it*  That's Auntie Ursula's shell necklace!
Rump:  When your grandfather, Poseidon, was on his deathbed, he gave his magic trident to your father.  Back when your sister was going through her trial, I made a bet with Ursula.  If your sister got her prince, or else if she died, I would get her magic shell.  Since it was destroyed, her next most precious possession passed on to me.
Emerald:  Then, that's all that's left of her?  (Djem nods, trying to keep his face steady and not cry.)  Father says that shell was the source of all her witchcraft.
Rump:  Yes.  That it was.
Emerald:  Then, if that contains the same magic, whoever wears it will die without it.
Pearl:  *caustically, as if her little brother is the one making a deal and not standing beside her* Sentimental value, sweetheart.  It's what runs our business.  Think of it as a vessel for your voice.
Djem:  *removes the necklace, with shaking fingers, as he squeaks* Trust me, Princess.  Your vibrato, your legato, and even your belt.  They'll all be safe and snug inside.
Emerald:  *starts to have second thoughts*  If I can't use my voice to win him, how can I ever-
Pearl:  *cuts her off*  You'll have your looks!  Your pretty face.  And don't underestimate the power of Body Lan-gu-age! *moves her body around in imitation of some exotic dance*
Rump: *singing*  The men up here don't like a lot of blabber.  They think a girl who gossips is a bore!  Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word, and after all dear, what is idle prattle for?!
Pearl:  C'mon!  *pushes her brother into the water as she joins in*  They're not all that impressed with conversation.  True gentlemen avoid it when they can. *indicates her brother, mute with helplessness*  But, they dote and swoon and fawn, on a lady who's withdrawn.
Rump:  *nods; pulls his daughter into his arms as he looks at her like he's imparting an important lesson*  It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man.  Come on you *picks up Pearl and twirls her around with him* poor unfortunate soul!  Go ahead, make your choice. *puts Pearl down*
Pearl:  He's a very busy person, and we haven't got all day.  It won't cost much... *darkly* just your voice.
Rump:  You poor unfortunate soul.  It's sad, but true.  *picks up the contract*  If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll.
Pearl:  Take a gulp, and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll.  *over her shoulder, with particular malice* Little brother!  Now we've got her Djem!  The boss is on a roll!
Both:  *to Emerald*  You poor unfortunate soul!!!!!!!

After a moment in the proverbial spotlight, Rumpelstiltskin and Pearl joined Djem in the water, stopping where the water came up to Pearl's waist and midway up Djem's chest.  The legendary imp towered over them all, only knee deep in the rising surf as the sun began to creep slowly over the horizon.  He stood before the mermaid princess, flanked by Pearl on his left and Djem on his right, his eagerness to hear her imminent affirmative masked perfectly behind a look of indifference.  After giving the princess time to consider, he spoke to her again in a low voice.

Rump:  So, how's about it, angel fish?
Emerald:  If I become human, Rumpelstiltskin, I'll never see my family again.  My poor sisters, and... my father.
Pearl:  *impatient to close the deal, and with the sentimentality of the moment of doubt*  Do you want to be with Princey-Poo or not?!?!?!?! *grabs the contract from her father, who gives her a surprised glare*
Emerald:  Yes!  Yes, I'll do it!  *grabs for the contract*  Where do I sign?
Rump:  Not just any ink, darling.  *magics up a green quill, already filled with ink, from nowhere*  Use this.

Djem shook his head sadly as the princess signed away her voice to his father.  Pearl smiled as she retreated back a little ways, rolling up the contract with a satisfying whoosh, as Djem handed over his necklace.  Rumpelstiltskin watched the first rays of sunrise glimmer off of the white shell as he brought his thoughts into focus for reciting the spell that had sealed Ursula's own destruction, the words that very well might seal his own.

Rump:  *singing* Beluga, savruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea!  (He heard his children summoning up steady streams of wind as ominous clouds gathered over the lagoon.  And still, the sun was rising.)  Larynxes, glascitis.  At max, laryngitis.  Los voce to me!  (The shell began to glow with an otherworldly, iridescent light.)  *speaking to Emerald*  Now take this shell, and sing your voice over to me.

As the sun finally broke free of the waves, if you listened carefully, you might have heard an unearthly song echoing around the hidden cove.  And then, just as suddenly as it started, you would hear it stop.  And then, if you listened very hard, you could almost hear what sounded like two people laughing, intermingled with the sounds of a crying child.